Poetry from #tinywinterpoem

 The #tinywinterpoem has come to an end.  I didn't post on the daily like I would have liked but decided to share some of what I wrote.  

"Demanded:" I wrote a series with this word.  The last is the conglomerate of what was best from that series!

1. 

He demanded it.

A laundry list of ideas

The impossible

2.

Demanded: millions

Ransom for an old lady

the oddest story

3. 

The impossible

Filling the voids of his mom

still he demanded.

4. 

Was it a cop out?

A laundry list demanded

An excuse to leave.

5. 

I am not your mom

A laundry list demanded

An excuse to leave!

6. 

Sit down and shut up

I wish I had demanded,

Forced a listening ear.

7. 

Mom, come over here.

One of her divers demands

Shopping used to be fun.

8.

Grief makes one unhinged

"More like my mom," he demanded

And much less like you.

"Carried"

1. 

The burden carried

upon unsteady shoulders

is meant to be dropped.

2.

Carried in my arms

Many days felt very long

How I wish them back.

"Arched"

1.

She bends, bridge making

Arched back, pausing from motion

a stop then moving

2.

My little ballerina

Ballet shoes and buns

Arched heels, pointed toes, the spins

My ballerina

"Wished"

1.

All I had wished for

Love's promise forever

Now a skeleton.

2. 

All to Half

All I had wished for

Picked fence, little family

Now 50%

"Brushed

Our Nemesis

She says she brushed it

With so much hair, some gets missed

The snarls: Nemesis

A few bonus poems here from me just writing and being sad the #tinywinterpoem was over.

Still in my Contacts

I thought of you now

then picked up the phone before

realizing you're gone.

Until there was Nothing Left

I thought about us...

    Not all of it was bad...

        the falling, the establishing,

                the promising,

        and of course, the children, the family...

Yet within the good

    Too much "not so good" was sprinkled

        and cultivated, and stirred

    and of course, ignored...

Until there was nothing left

        but the sprinkles...

Legacy Lives On

 My favorite author, Beth Kempton, is always doing cool daily writing challenges.  Her Winter Writing Retreat always fills my soul around Christmas.  In February, she always hosts a poem writing extravaganza called #tinywinterpoem, where she gives a daily word and invites writers to take ten minutes and create a poem without editing.  I will share them here for the next little while:

Legacy Lives On

My grandfather

    through sweat and tears

        sacrifice and perserverence

built the barn

    cleared the land

        planted the crops

                raised the animals

From Nothing

                    into Something

A Dream

                    into Reality

Doubts

                    into Belief

Pitfalls were plenty

Legacies are blind to each one...

Now just a memory

        as family morphed into corporate

And only a few lucky enough to make the transition

Just as he

                the creator of his kingdom

                        the farm and all its fruits

                                have withered and fallen

                                        returning back to dust...

Remembered in stories

told by his kin

and in the ghosts

who echo within the wind...

Legacy lives on!

You Can Take the Catholic Out of the Girl but...

 Happy Fat Tuesday.  Some people refer to this as Mardi Gras...Guess what?  Mardi Gras is French for "Fat Tuesday!"  Some may even go as far as saying Carnival...that is just another part of the world celebrating for a whole week.  What are they celebrating?  Basically, it is a period of gluttony before a fast.  This fast is the 40 day period just before Easter.  This fast has been around for centuries. Fasting has always been used in religious devotion to purify the individual fasting. The number 40 has always been used to symbolize purification: Jesus in the desert, the Israelites in the wilderness, Moses on Mount Sinai, and Noah on the Ark.

I have continued to revisit my Catholic roots each year as Lent comes around. I have fasted from various things.  My favorites are chocolate, soda and swearing.

This year I am doing a trifecta of give ups.  

1. Social Media*-I scroll way too much.  It gets in the way of lots of things like reading, hanging with my kids, and being mentally healthy and less anxious.

2. Soda-I have started to crave soda around 3:30 every single day.  This shows me that I am relying on caffeine a bit too much.  Some may even say that this is an addiction.

3. Sugar-This has also been a favorite way to self soothe of late.  I have been in the thick of things as my life has been turned upside down.  Chocolate, cookies, and Nerd Clusters have become my security blanket.  I also feel that this blanket has been screwing up my skin and my gut.  So, bye bye sugary treats. Hello Salad...we meet again!

Do any of you practice Lent?  If so, what are you refraining from this year?

May the force be with us!

Donuts earlier this week.

Shamrock Shake: Part of Fat Tuesday

Not pictured from my gluttonous Fat Tuesday: Pretzel Flipz, Cadbury Mini Eggs, Cadbury Creme Egg, Nerd Clusters that I didn't get to eating. 

*I may come onto socials on occasion to update my peeps on new blog posts.  Here's to less scrolling and more writing!

Letters

 I have always been a letter writer and I love when somebody responds.  There is something special about getting a piece of mail. Opening the mailbox is a bit boring of late.  On occasion I will get really nice mail from my sister or friend, Marla.  

The most recent letter I received was this card:

I am pretty sure Andi, my sister, was responding to the picture I posted on my last post of my new tagline: "Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive."

Her card now lives on that same poster:

I read a book recently that made me think more and more about letters.  The whole story is told through the correspondence a woman has through letters. It isn't surprising that the book, written by Virginia Evans is entitled The Correspondent. If you like books, this one definitely has my recommendation. Within its pages, Evans makes one think about our short life span here on this planet and about what really matters.

I have a box full of many letters I have received through the years.  The ones from my mom and my grandma are of utmost importance.  See, the written word can make us immortal, and remembered.  Pieces of paper that we write on can become tangible evidence that we were here.  I love re-reading those old letters.  I think I may just have to pull that box out again one of these days.

I love writing, I love writing letters.  Do you like getting mail? If so, comment here or on my posts on social media about this blog and I will reach out to you about getting your address.  I am on a letter writing kick since reading that life changing book, and I would love to write you!  Also, write in your journal today...the future will thank you.

Always Find Time

 Time...it's a thing.  Time is something we keep track of, something we lose track of, something we squander, something we have or don't have...it's something.

I have had a lot of alone time lately.  Alone time is quiet and it makes one think.  Sometimes those thoughts are kind, sometimes they are lonely.  Being in the thick of a challenging time brings lots of introspection.  

I am still trying to make my bedroom a sanctuary.  I finally have the set up how I think I want it.  A new record player shelf was in order and I took care of that last week.  The room is a hodgepodge of furniture and decor, nothing matches, but it is my spot.  

I have one sole thing hanging on the walls of my room.  You may say it is also alone.  There could be something very symbolic in this.  

It expresses a very important concept to me, as I am in the thick of grief and adjustment:

This makes me think of a scripture from The Book of Mormon in 2 Nephi 2:25: "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they may have joy"

Part of being here on this rock flying through the great expanse of the universe, is to find joy.  Joy can be many different things to different people.  Here are five things that have been on my happy list currently:

1. My kids.  These two humans are my biggest joy and my greatest blessing.  They are mine and I feel so blessed to be their mom.

2. Sports.  It is playoff football right now.  It is the good stuff(even if your favorite team self-sabotages itself) I was able to also attend a Utah Mammoth Hockey game yesterday...being among other fans who bring such amazing energy to the arena fills my soul.  Some people find my sports fascination silly.  They may even say it is a waste of time.  But if things make you happy are they really a waste of time?

3. Vinyl records.  This new obsession is interesting.  The nostalgia that comes from the needle hitting the edge of a record is hard to describe.  The write-ups in the covers, the pictures of the artist, the sound, it is unique and has brought a whole lot of nerd out of me.  I love playing them and I love browsing for them in record stores.  

4. Weekly(or as often as I can go) religious services.  My faith makes me who I am.  My faith also helps me navigate hard stuff. The world can be a very scary place these days and the peace, comfort and strength I find in my worship helps me keep on keeping on.

5. Reading and books.  I don't read nearly as much as I want to, but when I do allow the time for it, I love the escape the stories within books gives me. Sometimes fiction is superior to reality. I also love perusing books at my local book store.  I have some gift certificates to use there in the near future.

*Bonus: Writing.  Putting my thoughts down on paper, or on a computer is free therapy.  I think I am going to have to be better at coming to this space and getting the creative juices flowing.  I keep telling myself it doesn't have to be perfect.  So, you five readers, look forward to more posts here.  I am committing to it now.

And now it is your turn to share at least three things that make you feel happy to be alive.  Did you know that writing down three things that you are grateful for(I dare say make you happy) actually rewires your brain to look for more good things.  You are less depressed because of it.  It's science; look it up. Comment your things below, it would be fun to have that interaction with you all.