Ellis turned 4 months old on Monday. To celebrate I thought I'd share this letter I wrote to him!

Dear Ellis-

You are almost 4 months old. Since you came into my life, it has been so different. I can't remember life without you and that is a good thing because life with you is so filling. I knew love before I met you, but I didn't know it as full as I do now. Raising you with your dad is so amazing. You are the best parts of both of us, which makes you pretty dang amazing. That's how the world keeps getting better; the next generation is always better. 

You are so silly. Lately you love your hands. You practically stick your whole hand in your mouth. We think you will probably be right handed because that is your favorite one. You have just started to giggle out loud and it is adorable. (You have always giggled as you fall asleep. I think you must be visiting with your ancestors and posterity on the other side. You also sleep cry sometimes and I think that is because you hate the memories of leaving your heavenly home to come to this world that has some pain and harshness and lacks all the amazing peace you know there. I promise to always try my hardest to make your earthy home here as peaceful as I possibly can. I can't save you from all the pains and hardships that life will bring but I will always be here for you and Will make it more bearable.)

You are our "chubby monkey" and we love your fat rolls. It's so hard to clean under that Ficklin chin you get from Papa. You are a little snorer and it is cute. Right now you are asleep in your car seat. I think your first snowy adventures have tired you out. 

You have a million nicknames: Bugaboo, Bugs, Mr. E, Mr. Mist, Buddy, Grumpy McGrumperson, and The Boy to name a few. 

You smile all the time and that smile makes mommy's life seem easier after a hard day at work or when things don't seem to be going well. You are pretty dang funny too and have a sense of humor already. You laugh when daddy and I make faces at you. You also love music and I make up silly songs and beats for you all the time.  Your favorite singer since you were born is Miranda Lambert. I guess her twangy country voice does it for you!! You have always liked country and have a playlist with three songs on it.  "Desperation," by Miranda Lambert, "These are Days," by Sugarland, and "You're Not Sorry," by Taylor Swift. These have almost always calmed you when you've been upset. 

You have recently found your voice and chatter and screech all the time. You are especially vocal when lying on your back. 

You are a social butterfly already and are easily upset if daddy and I leave you alone in a room.  You love to sit in your tiny chair and watch us. 

Recently, you have given up sleeping in your bed. Mommy and you would always be close with your bed next to hers but now you are a sleeping in your swing kind of a guy. Mommy misses having you so close but she is okay with you sleeping for six hours at a time too. I even have to wake you up sometimes to feed you before going to work. 

You hate having a wet diaper but think its fun to chat with daddy or me when it's "time to change your bum bum." Daddy said that in a funny high pitched voice a few weeks ago and it stuck because you still find it silly and hilarious. 

You are growing so fast. You used to look so tiny in your car seat but now are almost filling it. You sometimes hate being buckled in and especially hate the new car seat cover we have that only gives you a window to look out of. Sometimes you really like it though. I think you already are excited about getting out on adventures. Daddy and I plan on taking you to some cool places and especially look forward to teaching you how to fish. 

I like to hold you close as much as I can because each day you change so much and the saying "babies don't keep," is becoming all too real for me. 

You love baths but hate being cold. It's fun to watch you as you clinch your hands and get wide eyed as the water hits you. You sit in your little seat and just watch us clean you. After, you are always relaxed and calm. 

We think you might be teething already. You are drooly and have that hand in your mouth 24/7. You were a bink baby since you were a few days old but seemed to give it up lately. You find binks offensive. I may or may not think it has something to do with the pink binks your dad bought thinking they were red. A little too feminine for you, I think. 

You have a friend Kari who plays with you every Tuesday. For some reason, she has the magic touch and you always fall asleep in her arms and you always take a bink with her. Silly boy!!! You love her voice and always smell like her after she watches you. Her kids love you too. Her only son even let you and I come on his birthday date with his mom. Her youngest daughter has taken a million pictures of you and her oldest always is excited to see you. 

You also smell like Mama sometimes. She sure loves you and wants to steal and hold you any chance she gets. She is so gentle and sweet with you. Papa is funny with you and talks to you across the room lots. He always wants to know where that "little toad" is. You got that nickname from your cousin, Isaac who wouldn't share the name "squirt" with you. He sure does love you too and always wants to style and part your hair. His brother, Sam, and sister,Eliza, love to see you too. Sam always talks to you in a sweet little voice that is just too cute coming from such a tall guy!!! Eliza wanted to be one of the first to hold you at Thanksgiving at the cabin. She had to fight your aunts for time with you, they love you lots too. 

My sister is a pro with you. She and my mom have come to visit you twice in your short life. They came just before you were born. We were worried they might miss your birth but then you were stubborn and upside down so the csection was actually good in that way to get you here during their visit. Auntie Andi changed almost all your poopie diapers at the hospital and rocked you the first night home so mommy could sleep a little. Grandma also snoozed with you in the couch and I will always hold that memory of you nuzzled in her arms very dear! They also came to your baby blessing and enjoyed the sweet spirit of that day!  What dedication. They also spoil you with lots of clothes and the coolest diaper bag on the planet. It is a Mickey Mouse one , Aunt Andi's favorite character. 

Your dad is amazing with you. I knew he was amazing a long time ago because he treats me so well. (He also is an amazing cook)  I am amazed everyday how good he is at being a dad. He loves you so much. He is with you during the day and then works at night. He is the bath giver and bottle maker. You are lucky to have him. He loves to kiss you and make you laugh. 

Well, you woke up and I had to play with you so I must make this short. I love you more and more each day. I love getting to know you and to be your mom. 

Many more letters to follow. 

Love you tons,

Mommy. 

Cardio vs. Weight Lifting.

Here I am finally answering one of the three whole questions I have fielded about fitness.

Morgan asks:  "I've heard weight training aids/causes weight loss, but I don't get it. I've always thought cardio, cardio, cardio! Explain."

Here is how weight training aids weight loss.  Notice I said aids, it really doesn't cause weight loss.  Cardio is still the way to burn, burn, burn calories.  But as quoted in this article that was just posted on fox.com a few days ago, "Strength training is the number-one way to build more muscle. And for every three pounds of muscle you gain, you can expect to burn an extra 120 calories a day without moving a single one of those muscles."  

When you have more muscle mass on your body, your body burns more calories.  Those muscles need more energy to exist in your body than does goo, or fat.  They help increase your metabolism so you actually are burning more calories not just while at rest, but also while exercising.  See how it can "aid" weight loss.  

Many of the popular workout routines these days incorporate both a cardio and a strength component.  If you watch The Biggest Loser," you will see this in action.  They don't just concentrate on cardio, but they also do strength training. Most of the time that strength training is during the cardio.  I like the mix.  

I teach a weight training class and it is one of my favorite things.  Lifting can be fun.  I also get cardio in as much as possible(my calves are killing me this week.  I think I went too fast into running again!).  

Be sure to add strength training into you exercise routine.  Not only will you look better, but you will burn more calories just watching television!  And that really is the goal, right?

If you have any more questions, please comment, email me, or message me on facebook.  This was really fun.  I like answering questions.

Throw it Back

I needed to see "Big Alice."  I need some motivation to get back on the weight loss bandwagon.  I remember that girl.  The one with the cake didn't quite want to change yet.  The one running would have given it all to be where I am today.  I need to honor that running girl and get back to my goal weight.  Any of you have some motivation for me?

Fit Friday

I ran again today.  That is three times the past two weeks.  This is progress people.  Progress.

As I was on my run today, I thought I would make today all about how to deal with the holidays.

Now, as a wise woman has said to me over and over, "it is a holiDAY, not a holiWEEK, or holiMONTH."  True right?

I tracked my food Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  Then Thursday hit.  I decided to enjoy the holiday.  I did not write down a single bite.  Then today came and bam, I wrote down everything.  (Except for that popcorn that hit me in the last hour or so.)  Thanksgiving was a holiDAY!!! Yipee!

I also exercised on Wednesday and then took the holiday off and today I was out running.  It was so nice to actually run outside.  I think it was the second time in this neighborhood.  It wasn't too cold and that is nice.  I think next week that is supposed to change around these parts so I am glad to have taken advantage of good weather today.

Here are some more tips to get through a holiday.

1.  Pack gum-I didn't chew it until later on in the day, but in the past it has saved me.  You will not eat things with gum in your mouth.  Sure, you can spit it out, but then you have one more step to go through before caving.

2.  Eat fruit/veggies.  They are always at the party.  They will fill you up and are good for you. (I made my plate yesterday about halfway filled with fruits and veggies.

3.  Use a small plate.  It seems like it is a lot of food and big plates give you too much food.

4.  Drink lots of water.  Again, it fills you.

5.  Make room for the things you love.  For me, it is pie.  I had pie yesterday and it was awesome.  I ate less turkey and potatoes so I could eat the pie.

6.  Let it be a day event.  HoliDAY!!!

Well, there will be fun answers to some of your questions in the future.  I just found this topic to be fitting for this time of year.

Cheers.

Mommy Monday

This post is going to be all about breast feeding.  I am sure you are thrilled.  If you don't want to hear about it, just move along.



For many people, breastfeeding is awkward.  Talking about it is hard for some people.  They get uncomfortable.  In fact, my health students brought it up because one of their other teachers is talking about it as part of her Human Development unit.  I guess she used me as an example.  Anyway, they pretty much were trying to get me to be shocked or embarrassed.  Little did they know that I do not get embarrassed about this topic anymore.  I basically told them: "why be embarrassed, that is what they were made for."



See, our society likes to think that breasts are sexual.  Which they are, if you let them be.  I have always just thought of them as a piece of fat that sometimes get in the way of sports participation.  (I often tell people that God knew exactly who I was going to be and blessed me with small ones.)  Media has made it that breasts are very important to a woman's sexuality.  Men are obsessed with them.  Okay, so maybe not all of them but many are.  I find this a little bit offensive.  I hate the whole over sexualizaion of women's bodies in general so the boob discussion just gets me fired up.



Seriously, my breasts give nutrition to my baby.  And being able to breastfeed him is an amazing experience.  I often fall asleep while feeding him because it is just such a relaxing time.  He also finds comfort in it and lately it is one of the only things to get him asleep because he is teething.  I love it.



Sure, in the beginning, it was very hard.  We were rookies at it.  I think many women quit trying because they haven't mastered it, it really isn't because they can't.  Like I said, Ellis and I had a hard time learning.  I was fixated on my low milk production and was pumping when I really should have been learning how to nurse.  As soon as I got off the whole "I suck at this," we learned pretty quickly.



Now, please do not be offended if it didn't work out for you.  I also feel that many things in parenthood and mommyhood are individual.  You get to make choices.  Thank heavens that we have things like formula to assist in this.  Ellis is actually getting me about half the time and formula for the other half, which with my working and low production has to be the case. This is our journey and we do it our way.  Your journey may have been different and that is great.  Thank heavens we only have us or the wet nurse as options because I find the whole wet nurse idea a little weird.



The last bit about nursing that I want to include here is the whole nursing in public thing.  I can see both sides of the story and have my own opinion.  I really think that in the society we live in, it is hard to publicly feed your child.  If you decide to uncover, you would probably be reported to the police because of this "lewd" act.  I personally don't want to be out there in public.  I do think that I should be able to breastfeed in public without judging eyes, if I am covered though.  I seriously don't see the big deal because seeing it happen doesn't get me all excited.  I think that will be all I have about public breastfeeding.



I like how at church I actually have a room to go to feed Ellis.  I There is a special mother's room with two nice chairs, and a changing table.  I would just nurse under my cover in church but I know some people could take offense, so I don't.   The really cool thing about hanging out in one of those nice pink chairs is that you get to chat with other nursing mothers.  These women are my heroes.  Mainly because they have more than one wee one and have more experience.  One of them has seven kids and I just look up to her.  It was also nice to chat with her and know that she couldn't nurse until the last three kiddos.  See, it is hard.  The other woman I have chatted with is a working mom like me and that is a good thing to hear too because sometimes in my church you can be judged for working instead of staying home.  Believe me, if it were in the stars, I would be at home with Ellis and not working, but in order to keep benefits, I work.

And really work is not conducive to breastfeeding I only get to pump once a day. I wonder why my production is still wacky? But I am just going with the flow(no pun intended) and giving Ellis as much as I can. And that must be enough, even if I struggled for a really long time for it to be okay to supplement and feed. It is what it is.

Cheers.