Twenty One Months

Dearest Ellis-
Did you know I still call you by different names?  Many times lately it is just Bubba, but I still call you my little bugs too.  I also look at you a lot lately and say to your Dad: "Dang, he is just so cute, I really think we should keep him."  Your Dad is always silly and one day said: "I think we should quit debating and actually really keep him."  I don't think we ever really questioned because our love from you has always been huge, and it just keeps getting bigger.

I love how full of life you are.  You live in each and every moment and you live it big.  When you are happy, you are big happy.  I love your chuckle and your big smiles.  Your happiness makes me happy.  When you are sad, you let yourself be sad.  You cry and cry and come to one of your parents for comfort.  When you are mad, you are MAD!!!  You stomp your feet, you scream and you sometimes throw things.   Lately, you biggest mad comes from whenever we tell you "No."  You definitely want things your way and you are not afraid of letting us know it either.

As you get older, I hope you keep that sense of what you want.  I hope you won't let society dictate how you express emotion either.  Don't let people tell you that you are "too happy," or to not be mad, because in life you will have times that make you have emotions and they are yours to have and feel. Always remember that it is okay to cry.  Tears are healing and sometimes you will just need to let out some.  Our society is often tough on guys for crying, but I am one Mama who thinks differently.  I once told my brother to quit crying and I have always felt bad for it.  It is okay to be sad sometimes!  If you are sad all the time, then we need to talk about that too.

I hate that you are growing up so fast, but I really do love every little change that comes with you.  Lately, you are walking to the car on your own, when I used to have to carry you everywhere.  Sometimes, as parents, it is hard to let go of being able to do things for your kid, but you have to.  See, you are learning how to be independent and take care of yourself and I need to remember that.

You still love trains, and balloons and puppies.  You can say two of those three words.  You still say "choo, choo" for train.  You also say:  apple, shoe, red, some letters, cracker, mommy, daddy, mama, papa, grandma, grandpa, moon, stroller(man do you love going for walks), backpack(you also love going for hikes), juice, milk, cheese, slide, and many others that I can't think of right now.  You have also put a few words together like when I played softball last week and you said "Mommy baseball."  This last week you have started to say "more" rather than signing it.  It is really cute because you say it and still sign it.

You love to give me loves lately, which I also love.  You hug me and say "mmmm."  You also have recently been kissing us and making the sound.  It is so dang cute.

You love church because you get to play with your friend Lincoln and others.  You truly are a very social bug.  I like how you always go up to other kids and try to kiss them and get them to pay attention to you.  You remind me that I should be nice to everybody.

You make us laugh lately because you find it hilarious if we get hurt.  (We are hoping it is a phase and not indication that you are a psychopath later)  Daddy thinks it is very funny to pretend to hurt himself because you laugh and laugh.  The video above is you doing just that.

I love being your mom.  I hope you remember that in your teen years when I may be tough on you sometimes.  I am so excited for it to be summer here in a few weeks making us be able to have more time together because I won't be at work.  We will have so many adventures.  I look forward to see what those adventures will be.  You are amazing and I love you so much.

Love,
Mommy

R is for Rockstar and that is Definitely Good Enough for Me

I rock. I am a rock star. No, I do not play the guitar, drums or even sing. In fact, I can rarely keep in the same key when I do sing, but I do one thing extremely well: Rock my one-year old to sleep. 

This is a daily occurrence sometime between 8 and 10pm. I am not one of those parents that has a spot on consistent routine. Sometimes, we are just too busy living so bedtime is later. Sometimes, we are exhausted because of all the living so bedtime is earlier. 

It may not be a constant time everyday but there is a definite routine to prepare for rocking. 

I parent a little boy. Boys are filthy. They see mud and think: "I need to be one with that."  There must be some sort of force field that pulls them toward the dirt and grime. Because of this strong force field, our routine starts with a bath. 

Once the filth is removed, it is time for some light reading. This allows time for the boy to dry and to begin winding down (Boys seem to never stop moving. They are like little wind up toys. They go and go and go until they can't go anymore.)  

Next, we get dressed for bed. Because of my kid's wind up toy ways, I let him watch videos of trains on my phone while I dress him. I first get him diapered(hopefully before any urine has escaped onto me or the furniture.), and clothed(It's always footie pajamas because every kid looks cute in footies, and then his feet don't freeze.)

He then watches videos while I get his bottle prepared(Yes, he is close to two and still takes a bottle to sleep. I baby him and that is completely fine with me.)

Eventually, he comes and finds me to request his bottle. This is where I become a rock star. 

This gig doesn't pay much but I think it is worth much more than mosh pit making sounds. I don't get notoriety for this gig either, but I am important to one little person and that is all the fame I need. 

He slowly drifts into complete relaxation and then to sleep.  Sometimes it takes twenty minutes sometimes only two.  I sit and ignore him until he closes those little eyes, but as soon as he does, I stare and stare.  

Soon, he will be too big for this.  Soon, I won't get these moments.  So for now, I will stare with complete love and adoration.  For now, this is the best gig in the world.   

Past Twenty Months.

Dear Ellis-

I told somebody at work today that I didn't post much on Facebook over spring break because we were too busy living. I think that is also why I didn't write you a letter last month; we have been too busy living.  

There are parks to climb slides in, bike rides to be had, hikes to take, stroller time to spend and millions of other things to do. 

You are busy. Seriously, you do not stop unless you are asleep. And when you move these days, it isn't just walking, it is by sprinting. It's so cute how you get on the tips of your toes and just sprint. 

You love to play with what I call your "stacks". They are these plastic half sphere things that stack on one another(Gramma Joyce gave them to you!). Sometimes you make towers; other times you get upset because you knock down a tower. You loved the noise it made to throw all of them on grandma's kitchen floor.  Grandma and Grandpa got a real kick out of that, especially Grandpa, even though he would pretend it bothered him!

You had a lot of fun on our vacation to Wisconsin. You made sure Grandma and Grandpa were watching you at all times. You would call or yell their names when they were not in the room. You danced for them and entertained them the whole time. You also remembered how much you loved Aunt Andi and called her all the time. "An-nee!"

You got your newest and best haircut while visiting your aunts in Algoma and you loved chasing their dogs. (The dogs never really appreciate you like you do them.)  You also remembered how much you love your cousin Chloe and played with her for a long time in the mess you both made of their newspapers.

You are still obsessed with trains. You say "choo-choo" a million times daily. You always want to be watching videos of trains. 

You also have discovered airplanes and move your hand around, pointing your tiny index finger, while making a whooshing sound. You loved them at the airports even though you told me you were all done right before take-off. You finally slept for me once you told me how you hated being contained on my lap.  Mommy may be looking forward to the day you actually get your own seat even though it will mean much more expensive trips to visit Grandma. 

You love slides. It might have something to do with Daddy bringing you one home and having it in you bedroom(yes, you are spoiled, but we think it keeps you from climbing other things). You get mad at me anytime we walk past a park and don't stop to play. You think anytime should be park time.  You have the silliest and funniest little tantrums when I tell you no.  You have to watch your self for tantrums and go to a mirror and slam your hands onto it and scream.  You also will plop yourself on the floor and also do a bit of screaming to let me know you are not happy with no(too bad kiddo, because you may hear that word lots between now and 18!)

You say lots of new things. The newest is Owls. You also say: squirrel, bird, snack, bottle, mommy, daddy, grandpa, grandma, Reno, mama, papa, puppy, apple, milk, juice, Jesus, wallet, car, and many others. You still always sign more, all done, and most recently, please.  You also do this funny hand wave when you want something from us.

You are addicted to videos and are bothering me to let you use my phone right now to watch one. Can't you see I am writing a letter to you?  

Well, just like always, this letter could be longer but you need me and there is life to be lived. 

Until next time,

Love you lots,

Mommy 

A Year and a Half...Where has the time gone?

We are gonna spice it up this month, just for fun.  I saw this on a blog that I read and thought it was cleaver.  This letter will be from Ellis to me.

Dear Mommy-

I bet you are impressed with how I can now say Mommy.  Good.  So now you should let me watch videos all day.  And do know, that when you start playing one for me that I have liked before, I will , with no doubt, not like it right now.  I will grunt and stomp in disgust because you didn't 'read my mind about my choice of video.  I also may be okay with Chicka or Thomas but seriously, five minutes in, I still have a right to change my mind.

I still like food.  I  know, by my face it doesn't seem like I like lemons, but I will want to try a second taste just to make sure.  I will tell you I want snacks sometimes, don't be alarmed when I don't eat them and only want to throw them all on the floor for Reno.  He likes snacks too and likes me more when I give him mine.  I also am a vegetarian now, so don't even try to give me meat, I will just spit it out and make a weird face.  Thanks for trying though.  If you would, feed me only berries with a few pieces of cereal and Goldfish, please.  Oh yeah, and anything you are eating is good as long as it isn't meat.  And really, can I eat ice cream for every meal?  And seriously, give me some Diet Coke.  I feel depraved. 

I love to be outside and I actually would rather to live out there, so don't even try to bring me back in when we go out there.  Please don't tell me we are going outside or for a walk until you are fully ready.  This waiting stuff is for weirdos.  Again, if you make me wait, I will stomp and wail.  Just sayin'!  And when we go anywhere outside, please just let me walk.  Being carried is for babies. 

I really like to walk and am really liking this climbing thing, even if gravity is bring me down a lot more.  I love the coffee table, and the arms of the couch.  Please just get over me being up there and life will be a whole lot easier for us both.  I also like to be on the bed, so don't even try to get me down or I will again stomp, kick and wail.  Just sayin'!

Balloons are the coolest thing on the planet so don't even think about going grocery shopping without getting me one.  It is crucial to my survival. 

I sometimes like to sleep through the night, but don't get used to it.  I also like a warm bottle sometimes at 3 or 4 in the morning.  And no, I am not going to just go to sleep.  You must cuddle with me in your bed for a while.  Don't even try to lay me down in my crib because going back to sleep in cribs is for babies, or for big boys and I am not quite sure which one I want to be right now, so get off my case. 

I know I need shoes to go out and about so I will let you put them on me.  Do know that I reserve the right to take them off at anytime.  So, plan time to put them back on after any car trip.  And seriously, socks are for wussies.  Oh and I also know that coats are important, but you are gonna need to figure something out to keep me in them because I figured out those zipper things this week, so don't get mad at me when I get in the diaper bag.  It's your fault you left it on the floor. 

I really do love you even though I do all these things, like have tantrums when I don't get my way.  I really miss you when you go to work or take a shower.  I also like to give you loves and have you chase and tickle me.  You are doing a good job, so don't feel like you aren't.  I love you mommy!!!!

Ellis 17 Months Letter

Dear Ellis-
It is fitting to write you because I have deemed 2015 the year of letter writing.  I have already written 17 letters to various friends and family so far this year and will write 365 letters this year.  It is fun to write down what is going on each and every day in my life.

Your life is as full of adventure as any little 17 month old's life can be.  You are still loving trains.  You had a blast and Grandma and Grandpa's this past Christmas, because they live only a block or so away from a train track.  You would go "choo choo!"  whenever one came down the track.  You wanted us to take you to look at it, but it was kinda cold most days while there.  We took you to the National Railroad Museum in Green Bay, while there and you had a blast.  You again said "choo choo," from the parking lot all the way through the museum.  A little secret:  Mom had fun too.  I love to see you excited about things and so curious.  It is a fun adventure to get to raise you as you grow, which is so fast.  I wish you would slow down that growing, but it just isn't meant to be.  You are doing just what you are supposed to and I am reminded to just take a step back and let you grow, even if that is one of the hardest things I will probably do all of your life.

You are still a big people person.  You are always trying to get people's attention by laughing and making faces.  You had a whole table full of people laughing at you at an ice cream shoppe last weekend.  I often think one of your biggest callings in life is to spread light and joy to those around you.  You are very good at it.  You have started going to nursery at church(a program for 18 months-3 year olds in our church).  Many kids have a hard time being away from their parents for those two hours, but you just walk in and it is like mom and dad have disappeared and you don't really want to find them.  Last week, we just opened the door and you went right in and we were on our way to our other classes.  You have a blast in there and must be pretty easy to handle, if they are letting us drop you off all alone a month before you turn 18 months!

Even though you are pretty much a people person, lately it takes you a bit to warm up with new people.  I actually like that you sometimes cling to me tight and bury your head in my shoulder.  These are the little moments I keep telling myself to hold on to and cherish.  It usually doesn't take long before you are waving or making faces at said new people though.

You still love dogs.  While visiting Aunt Andi and Aunt Sara in Wisconsin you loved their dogs.  You would kiss them and try to snuggle with them when they would let you.  Divot was a little nervous by you but he was a good sport and let you put your head on him and chase him around.   Poupy(sp?) also was pretty patient with you as long as you didn't pull her hair.  I think you got spoiled because our Reno still really just tolerates you.

You also love babies and say baby every time you see one.  There is a picture of one on the box of wipes we have in the bathroom cupboard and you always open that door to see it and kiss it.  I think that is pretty dang cute.

You are still reading lots of books and learning all the time.  You recently found a YouTube video about the alphabet and you scream out D whenever they are talking about ducks and dogs.  You are smart but we are trying to keep the videos to a minimum because sometimes they make you a little grouchy, just sayin'.  You often give us a hard time about the carseat and we have to bribe you with videos.  Sometimes I think this is bad parenting but I also do feel it is good to sit in the cold trying to convince you to sit for two hours.  We have places to be and adventures to have, little man!  You are very opinionated already on some stuff and I think you might have Mommy's temper.  I think we are both gonna learn a lot about keeping our jets cooled.

You make Cookie Monster noises sometimes when eating as well as big grunts.  You certainly love food.  You also sing the Elmo song if prompted.  It's so cute!  You also love to look at yourself in the reflection of the stove and often go in front of it and make faces or dance.  You love to dance and sometimes ask for more when I watch "Ellen" and see her dancing.  You also loved her dancing reindeer during her Christmas giveaways.

You have started to mimic Daddy by blowing your nose and making noises.  It is way funny and way cute.  You can say "apple" and most things we ask you to say.  Grandpa Koehne even taught you to say "cock a doodle doo" at Christmas.  You also say "noodle" very cute.  You still sign "more" and "all done" and we are working on "Please" right now.  You are pretty fast at getting it and signed it this morning when you asked me to pick you up.  You throw everything, which I didn't see coming when I taught you to throw balls(you throw things lots when mad!  Gotta figure out how to get you to not do this soon).  You still love to play ball too and always say "ball, ball, ball" as you walk down the hallway at school I teach at.  You know right where the gym is and always want to go there when you visit me for lunch on Thursdays.  You are also still soothed by your playlist on my phone.  I am still very thankful for Miranda Lambert's song "Desperation," because lots of times I am desperate to help you.

I still love you more and more each day and hate going to work many mornings.  You are what I do most things for and make my life so full.  I am always trying to hurry home to get back to you too!  I didn't know how much I could love you and I am still amazed by how that love keeps growing.  I already sometimes think of the days when you will get tired of me and want more space and I already start to cry.  For now, I will just hold you longer when I rock you to sleep and hug and kiss you a million times a day.  For right now, I am one of your favorites and I am so honored by that.

Thanks for making my life full.
I love you my little Monkey Butt, Bubba, Bugs(among other nick names).
Love,
Mommy