Zarah's Birth Story

Wow.  It has been over a month since this little bundle of joy joined our family:

We sure do love our new addition.  She weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz and was 19 and a half inches long.  She is doing so well and is growing so much.  I constantly am reminding myself to hold her a bit longer and stare at her face to remember exactly how it was in each moment.  It seems like she already has changed so much.

Well, here is the story.  I had planned on going all natural this time(just like I had with E-Man too), but I quickly was reminded that I am not always the one in control in life.  At my last appointment with my midwife group, they were a bit concerned about the fluid levels around baby Z.  So, I was instructed to go have an ultrasound on Memorial Day, which I did.  The numbers were lower but not quite in the worry category, so they sent me home and wanted to check again the next morning.

My mom flew in that night and we picked her up and then enjoyed wings at our favorite place with a few friends.  The next morning, Mom and I headed for the hospital.  I felt in limbo because, who knew what was going to happen?  I also kinda had an inkling that the numbers were going to continue to go lower.  With E, that happened as well.  What is up with my babies losing their liquid the last week?

So, the news was that baby Z was going to have to come via C-Section.  My favorite midwife, Claudia, was on call that day and she is just the sweetest. She gave me a hug and we discussed why this was the best option because we were most concerned with baby's wellness.  It wasn't my favorite news.  I had been ready for my natural birth.  Now, that is something that will never happen.  See, once you have two, you have to always have them.

So, again, Mom and I ventured back home.  We had a few hours to prepare for getting to the hospital and finding a place for E to be while we had the baby and the first night.  It really worked out well to have my Mom here, because she was able to stay with E the first night and then Reuben joined them the other few nights I was at the hospital.

We had to be at the hospital at about 4:30 for all the prep.  Both our babies would be born at American Fork Hospital, just a few blocks away from the American Fork Temple where Reuben and I were married a few years before.

We checked in, got all the IVs ready and waited for go time.  The C-section was scheduled for 6:30 and time flew.  Before I knew it, Claudia was again with us.  And she wanted to talk.  It was 6:15, by the way.  She said something along these lines:  "Before we head in, Alice, did you know you are actually having some pretty regular contractions?"  I was not aware actually.  Nice, no?  "So, what do you think?  We actually could try to get you moving along and try a vaginal birth.  Should we check to see how progressed you are?"

My mind was in a thousand different places.  I could have the birth I had hoped for, but I had also been prepared all day to have a C-section.  So, we checked.  I was at about a one.  I looked at Claudia and thanked her for fighting for my cause.  If that number had been a five, I might have been more convinced to try it.  But a one?  I could be in labor for 18 hours and still end up with the emergency C.  It was 15 minutes before go time with surgery, too.  I was disappointed not to have experienced a natural birth, but things happen the way they do for a reason and in the moments that Claudia was talking about another option and checking my progress, I just didn't feel right about it all.  Who knows if it would have been horrible or not, but I chose what I chose.

Earlier, I had mentioned to Claudia that I wanted a different experience than I had had with E's delivery.  I hated my first C-Section, mainly because he was born and then I only got to kiss his face and didn't see him for a good hour after birth.  I wanted skin to skin contact ASAP.  Claudia told me that lots of things had changed since E was born and that I could have baby Z as quick as a little assessment.

At 6:51 p.m. on June 1st, Baby Z entered this world.  She was taken to the corner of the operating room and after a tense moment of not crying, there she was, screaming.  I was in tears and so excited to meet her. I had to keep telling myself that she would be with me soon and that Reub was with her because mama bear mode set in and I wanted my baby NOW!

Reub brought her to me a few minutes later and I was in heaven for the next several hours.  That baby did not leave me until about one in the morning when Reub got to wash her hair in the sink, in my room.  They even did the bath part with the nurse in my bed on a towel.  Things really had changed since E was born.  The hospital was very focused on making sure mom and baby had as much time skin to skin and together as possible.  They even encourage moms to have babies in their room and only babies being medically tested, or taken care of were in the nursery.

I was in the hospital from Wednesday June 1st through Sunday June 5th.

This may not have been the way I had planned for this birth, but I have a healthy little miracle at home with me now, and that is all that matters!

Zarah One Month Letter

Dear Zarah-
Hello wonderful daughter of mine.  This is the first letter I will write to you in your life and definitely not the last.  I promise to write a letter every month of your first year.  As I have proven with your brother, after that it is kinda random.

You are such a fun baby.  Before our eyes, you are growing and changing everyday.  This week you seem to be getting thicker.  Not sure that makes sense but it seems like you are getting wider.  You are also changing in your face.  As a friend said yesterday, "she is getting her own look."  She meant that you are looking less exactly like your brother, Ellis and more like your unique self.

I am knocking on wood as I say this but you are a good sleeper.  For the first couple weeks, we partied like rockstars from midnight to six in the morning, but now you are sleeping at least five hour stretches at a time during the night.  Thanks for that.  Your older brother never did that for me. He was only sleeping two hours at a time for a long time.  So, really thanks.

You are getting more and more interactive.  In the last week or so, you have started to smile.  You also will make a coughing noise whenever I do it to you.  You and I both find it very funny.

You love to bounce and cuddled.  You are learning to love your swing.  You still love Coldplay and lately Kelly Ripa's voice as Aunt Andi and I are watching that show in the morning.

Your brother adores you.  He loves to check in on you often throughout the day.  He gives you sweet kisses on the head and toes.  He finds it funny to have you kick his head while you lay on Mommy's bed.  He counts "1-2-3, Kick baby, kick!"  It will be so much fun to see how your relationship with him grows through the years.  I am hoping and guessing you will be the best of friends!

I love your sweet little face and am so excited to be your mommy.  We are going to have tons of adventures together.  May I always remember your little toes, your sweet little smile, and the peace I feel when we rock together.

Until next month, I will be enjoying our sweet moments.
Love you,
Mommy.

 

 

A Long Overdue Letter to Ellis.

Dear Ellis-

Hey!  I have not written you a letter in a long time and I have been thinking about writing lots. Maybe it has been less because mommy is burnt out on letter writing. Maybe it is because mommy is tired all the time and very pregnant. Whatever the reason, do know that I am still loving being your mom. Sure, you are now two and have lots of opinions and get frustrated and tantrum at times, but no matter what, no matter how tired and worn out I am, deep down I still love you so much. I cannot even describe how much I really love you because it just isn't something that is measurable. 

You will soon be a big brother. That sometimes seems weird and really makes me excited to see how you will react to our family growing. I worry that you will have a hard time and feel a bit jealous. Once when I was holding a friend's baby, you dropped all the fun you were having playing with the big brother of said baby and wanted me to hold you. That was interesting. Maybe it will be different when it is our baby. You always talk about her and you love to go through all the new clothes she has gotten from people. You even showed Papa every single thing and were so proud. I just know you are going to be a great big brother because you love all kids and want to be friends with every kid at the park. You always say "hello" and try to convince them to play with you. It really irritates mommy that kids often try to ignore you and have even been rude to you. What happened to all kids liking all other kids? I am already worrying about you going to school and how kids will treat you and that is a couple years away still!

You are so wonderful and fun. I am thankful every day that I get to play with you. Today we built some Play Doh airplanes like we often do and I had a blast watching you play. You are starting to build quite an imagination and are playing like you never have before. It's fun to watch you grow and change.  I also love to hear you say that the airplanes are going to Wisconsin to see Andi and Grandma. You sure do love them so much. We have been skype visiting with them more lately and that is so fun. We even spent Mother's Day with Andi out on her patio while she and Jeff enjoyed a spring night's fire. Special memories. 

You love puddles and bubbles. Many spring adventures lately have been to "your puddle" which is on the basketball court of our condos. The other day you even had to be barefoot to fully enjoy that puddle and to climb the big slide. How your feet aren't bothered by wood chips, I will never know.  Silly boy!

You also are still a lover of slides and parks. Just last night you made your very pregnant mommy walk and walk and walk all around one of your favorite parks. There were rocks to throw, ramps to climb, doors of school classrooms to be knocked on(you trick or treat at most doors these days), hills to climb and slides to go down. It is often hard to get you to leave but I was thankful last night that the bribery of chocolate balls(Sixlets) got you calmly in the car and buckled in your car seat. I also have a new trick where I set the time on my phone. You know when the ducks quack that it is time to go. You even say: "Ducks quack, time go!"  I also love hearing you say: "see you soon," "thank you so much," "yea, you did it," "come see you(to be held," and all the fun things you come up with. 

Lately, you sometimes get pretty mad in these situations or other times where you don't get exactly what you thought you would get! Daddy and I are learning how to best help you manage the anger that you seem to have inherited from mommy. You spend lots of time on time out in your crib but you do always eventually calm down and still need mommy to rock and cuddle you. Sometimes you get a spank in the bum and you will laugh, so I'm not sure that parenting method is going to ever work. 

Getting to know you better and finding new ways to help you is one of the toughest yet most rewarding things about this whole mommy gig. You are such a cool little guy and I love everyday I get to spend with you. No matter how tough it can be, I always at the end of the day am so grateful that I get to be your mom and tackle this whole life thing together. You're my little buddy and I love seeing you grow and learn. And how could I ever be sad to see this at the end of the day?

I love you sweet Ellis. Always remember that, no matter what. 

W,

Mommy

Birthday a bit Late!

I usually hate when people post things in hindsight, but my birthday was awesome and I never told you all about it.

The best part was having the day off to spend with my cute little family. Such a good relaxation.

We first bought a car. Soon the little Nissan just won't fit two car seats comfortably. We went with a Honda Pilot. It has lots of bells and whistles including my favorite the sunroof and Ellis' future favorite, a DVD

We then headed to lunch and I ate a delicious cheeseburger. Then it was off to the aquarium in salt lake. We all had a great time there. And Ellis didn't want to leave. And the coolest part was it being free because of a really nice family offering us to be their guests in their membership that day.

Crossing the rope bridge..

                                                                 I love the smiles on stingrays.

Funny turtle.

 We were there for the penguin feeding.

                                                                            Huge river fish.

A few friends also stopped by for ice cream and cake, later that evening. A perfect end to a perfect day!  Only one more year until I face 40!