Don't think I am a hermit or anything, but lately I haven't left my parent's house much. (I do get out and run in the mornings)I think part of it is because I am tutoring E a lot of the time. The other part is because I am constantly watching Bones. It is a crazy addiction and I can't find the cure except to watch it all until there is no more to watch. It is kinda like when you have chocolate in your house and you just have to eventually eat it all so you will not be tempted anymore...or is that just me?
I decided to get out and Frisbee golf. I haven't gone all summer and we are already half way through. Pathetic. Anyway. I was distracted while driving. Something about singing Kelly Clarkson at the top of my lungs or something. I did find a really cool beach when I was turning around and it was so awesome that I stopped. Sometimes missing a turn can be valuable. Remember that in life. Enjoy the pics of my adventure. Doesn't the camera on iPhone 4 take amazing pictures? If that phone were a man, I would be married by now.
Well, in honor of MTV airing a documentary entitled If You Really Knew Me which follows some teens through the process of a Challenge Day, I am going to do a short IYRKM. It has been a while for me:
If you really knew me, you would know that I love being in Wisconsin during the summer. You would also know that sometimes it is hard to be here. Mainly, because I am often bored and don't know what to do with myself. It is interesting to me to realize that working is a good way to keep myself busy. If you really knew me you would also know that I say this because lately I have been having some extreme feelings of loneliness. You would know that one of my greatest desires is to find a man to share me life with and that sometimes that void feels extremely big. You would also know that random phone calls from a man that I thought I could marry and that would be a great teammate really gets my head spinning. You would know that one such phone call came about two weeks ago. If you really knew me you would know that I really can't figure out why this contact throws me so much. It shakes my whole world. It is weird. If you really knew me you would know that sometimes my faith in finding true love often falters. If you really knew me you would know that this is not the only thing that defines me. IYRKM you would know that I really do love my life, that even though sometimes things can be hard, I am in love with living. I love the beauty of the earth. I love to see the rabbits that are all over the yard. You would know that I am guilty of talking to animals. IYRKM you would know that I am coming to grips with having a career. Sometimes I really feel like I need to do something else in life...that it seems that I need to change. I think that is a normal feeling, but I also feel that it is hard to feel stagnant. It is hard to explain. You would also know that I am a sensitive duck and that sometimes I feel like I am way too sensative and that I feel like I am too honest. I hate that I feel that way though becuase honesty is the best policy and why should I hide how I really feel. (btw..this all stems from another stupid boy thing) If you really knew me you would know that I have really enjoyed getting to know my nephew this summer. You would also know that I worry about him, but I also have faith that he will find his way because I see the power within him!
What else? I think you may have gotten into my head a little further than I regularly do. I hope it didn't freak you out. I hope it may have helped you know me a little better and connect with me a little better. I also would hope that you might try this out loud with your family at dinner tonight(or tomorrow). Give each person time to talk about who they are. Have them complete the sentence if you really knew me...Listen to them. Encourage each other to dig a little deeper and to really get real instead of just talking about the same old stuff(like how the day was or what the weather is like). If you really knew me you would know that I am very proud of myself and my accomplishments in losing weight. You would also know that by being coming a runner and a loser of weight I feel like I can do anything. It is like the impossible has become possible and that is so very empowering. You would know that lately I have a lot more self esteem because of it. It is almost as if I was hiding behind those pounds. You would also know that my self image is still trying to catch up and that I really don't know who that person in the mirror looking back at me is, but I really do know what she is inside.
Well, I think that is it for today. Thanks for reading. You people are the best, you know. Thanks for all you do for me.
Cheers.
