Ellis' Eight Month Letter

Dear Ellis-

I cannot believe that you have been in my life now for eight months. It has gone so fast in many ways and in other ways still seems surreal that I have you. There were definitely many times in my life where I didn't even think I would marry and now look at me getting to be your mommy. 

You are a sweet little guy and everybody loves you. Your Papa always talks about how he will open his phone in the morning just to see a picture of you because you bring him so much joy. Mama also says you just make her so happy. You really have such a happy spirit and never are truly sad. You will only cry when you really need something and it doesn't take too long to figure out what you need. Sometimes you throw temper tantrums and arch your back or stomp your feet. It is probably a bad thing that I find said tantrums cute and sometimes let you grump a bit before helping save you!!!

You are getting to be very mobile. We call you the steam roller because you roll and roll and roll. You love to play with toys and especially like to use your feet to play.  You also throw or kick a toy away when you are bored with it. I think you will be a sports guy because you are so good at using your body. You also always want to be standing(either the person you are being held by or standing yourself in their lap). You also like to "do a little jig when prompted and will clap. You still love baths and will splash, splash, splash.

Reno is still one of your favorites and you like to roll to find him. We think Reno will be in trouble when you get the crawling figured out. 

You are quite a talker and still squeal through church. You will be saying words soon and we sometimes hear dada or mom. You click your tongue or fake cough to get people's attention. 

You are a very good traveler and made it to Phoenix  with very little problems. You loved playing with your cousin, Cade and also like your first baseball game. I was worried you wouldn't like the fireworks after because you freaked out inside of me last forth of July but you stared at th in wonder and loved them. 

You are very adaptable and are doing very well with wearing a helmet as we try to shape the top of your head from triangle to circle. 

You make fun noises and my favorite is when you breath very rapidly and tense your legs and hands. 

I had my first real crazy worry because you fell off the changing table the other day. I think I beat you to the ground and cried harder. Luckily, you are built too heavy and did a summersault and landed on your back not your head. We definitely must be much more concentrated when we have you up high. I was so worried you were hurt or permanently damaged that my lip quivered as I cried. I don't want you to ever have to have bad pains!!!

Life is so good with you and I really can't imagine life without you. You make me proud and happy and I am so glad to have the blessing of helping you grow into a successful young man. Thanks for already teaching me so much about patience and love and for showing me how to love life. 

Love you tons. 

Mommy

Reflections.

This time of year is extra hard.  Part of this has to do with the indecisive weather, part has to do with needing a break from work.  The children in my school are cray-cray and the adults are just as stir crazy.  This is where baseball comes in.  Baseball makes me happy and has made life more bearable. For my birthday,  I bought myself access to Major League Baseball streaming of the audio coverage of each of the games for a whopping twenty bucks.  This has been the best twenty bucks I have spent on myself in a long time.  Not only can I listen to my Dodgers, but I also get to watch one game a day for free.  Right no,w the Reds are playing the Cardinals in the background on my phone.  Heavenly.  

Lately, I have been doing a whole lot of soul searching too.  Recently, a co-worker's son passed away and I was able to attend the funeral, even though I didn't know him well.  This funeral, like many I have been to in the past, reminded me of how fragile life really is and how I need to be LIVING more.  This young man inspired me to remember to do the things I love more because he lived passionately.  Sometimes that means I have to make the time for the things I love.  One change I have done with that is to get my guitar out and in plain sight again.  I even have learned "Amazing Grace" which was sung beautifully at his funeral.  I also have remembered to ride my bike more and have plans to get it road ready to start riding to work after Spring Break(it will be warmer, I hope!).  He was an avid bike rider and I need to get out and feel the wind in my face more.  We bought a trailer to lug the kiddo around in and Ellis loves it so we will be doing lots more riding in the Ficklin family. 

I also was reminded how I need to be nicer and love people more.  Life is too short to hold grudges, be surrounded by negativity, judge people, and just be unhappy.  I am learning to let go of the unimportant things and to cling onto the things that do mean most.  

Reuben and this little critter means most these days.  And the people in my sphere need me to be a champion for them.  I am trying to be more positive and love those around me more because I am doing no one a favor by pretending to be small and insignificant.  I am important and I have talents to help people enjoy their journey here more.  

So...I have thought a bit about what I would want people to say at my funeral.  The young man's brother said in a tribute:  "If you take anything for what I say, know that he was a good guy!"  I want people to say that about me.  Well, at least that I was a good lady, that I would do anything for others, that I was always smiling and helped make people smile too.  That is what I want to be remembered for.  I want to someday be celebrated and mourned because it will be a while until those people who loved me can feel that from me again.  I want to be known as a kind soul who loved life. (Ellis is also a great example of this to me.  How fun that a little 7 month old can teach us things about life.  He's a happy little dude!)

Most importantly, I was reminded that this life isn't it.  We are connected and will be in each others' sphere on the other side.  This is all possible because our Creator is eternal so it is only realistic to think that we are eternal as well.  We will get to live on and how peaceful to know that it won't be as hard there for us as living in this mortal life can be at times.  And how nice it is to also realize that we can make our limited time here joyful, full and rewarding.  We get to choose to enjoy life!

Cheers to all.