Well, Happy 2020. Do you feel different? Some people believe it is a new decade, while others say the decade doesn't start until 2021. What a conumdrum.
Almost as big of a conumdrum as making New Years' resolutions. Have you made any?
It seems like everybody concentrates on reslolutions this time of year. I get it, it's the thing, but does it really need to be? And does it have to be I'm giving up such in such, or I am going to do this everyday?
See, I feel like instead of something being resolute(unwavering), it might be okay to be a little more half-hearted about it. Seems like a weird philosophy, no? Like: "Alice, why would you be so cynical and give up so easily?" Well, that is kinda the problem I have with resolutions it's a perfection based kind of thinking. And I am far from a perfect kind of person. It's like cutting yourself off of a bad behavior cold turkey, or adding a new behavior thinking you won't ever screw it up. And I feel that is setting oneself up to fail.
Have you looked around the gym in January? Gyms turn into madhouses the first week of January. And how do they look at th end of January? That's right, less people are there. But wait, weren't they resolute? Determined? In it to win it? See, the problem is that to establish habits it does take about 21 days. And. IT. IS. HARD.
Don't get me wrong. I do always feel like the new year brings some sort of magical “I can change my life” kind of feeling. But in my 42 years of life experience I have learned that sometimes I think a little too big and then I fail big. I have learned that each day can be a new beginning and that I can refocus daily. I also think a little bigger sometimes and reflect on my week. It's a fresh start to do better weekly. And even further, I often reflect(thanks to my amazing Happy Planner) on a monthly basis. What did I do well? What can I celebrate from the last month? What can I focus on next month to do even better.
See, I am the kind of person who thinks there is a reason that night is different than day. We get to lay down at night(and if your are lucky get a good restful night of sleep) and reset our minds. Just the change from light to dark is different enough to be a restart. And have you noticed that it doesn't just go black at night? It actually slowly dims to dark. And in the morning does the sun just turn on like your kitchen light? Nope, it gradually gets brighter and brigher. I feel that quiting cold turkey is like turning off a switch, and it isn't like that gradual dim. I think we need to focus more on the gradual improvement that we can make in our lives.
See, I am the kind of person who thinks there is a reason that night is different than day. We get to lay down at night(and if your are lucky get a good restful night of sleep) and reset our minds. Just the change from light to dark is different enough to be a restart. And have you noticed that it doesn't just go black at night? It actually slowly dims to dark. And in the morning does the sun just turn on like your kitchen light? Nope, it gradually gets brighter and brigher. I feel that quiting cold turkey is like turning off a switch, and it isn't like that gradual dim. I think we need to focus more on the gradual improvement that we can make in our lives.
I am not saying I am not making goals. I do have a few but they aren't finite win or lose things. I have framed them differently.
Instead of looking at a number on the scale, I want to continue a slow journey to a healthy weight. Now that doesn't mean that I am body shaming myself or that a number on a scale is good or bad. Seriously, it is just a number. It isn't a measure of value. It is a measure of your gravitational pull. But you see, there are health consequences associated with those numbers. I want to be able to keep up with my children(and be around for a long time with them) and I also want to give my students the allusion that I am in better shape them them(sometimes I really think that is only me being better at the mind game that is not stopping, even when it is hard. They struggle with that and start complaining before they even start moving!). I am choosing to be more conscious of the things I am putting into my body through food. I am also choosing to be more active and more conscious of it. I want to think about how it makes me feel. I have already started the habit and I feel better when I am doing both! (And a little bit of seriousness here. I try to eat well 80% of the time. I am a cheat day or two a week type of person and it is working for me! It is a balance)
Another non-absolute for me is to say: "I want to yell less at my kids!" I could say, "I will not yell at my kids anymore," but in reality I know I will slip. But I want to be more aware of it and be able to calm myself enough to be more patient and kind as I interact with them. I will not be perfect right away. It just isn't going to be like that, but I can conscioulsy do it less and work at it. It is progress not perfection that I am going for in 2020.
The last non-absolute for me this coming year is getting rid of my diet cola addiction. Now, I could easily say: "I am not going to have anymore soda starting Jaunuary 1st." Do you think it would work? Maybe, but I know that there is still some Coke Zero in my fridge downstairs and I am going to have to wean myself off of the stuff. I know their are headaches that may come and if they do, I may sneak in a Coke. Again, this is looking toward progress not being perfect here people.
Okay, well here I am writing a blog post for the first time in about two years. Guess what I have deemed this year? This ,my friends, is the Year of Writing! I have been reading lots the last two years with the book challenge a local bookstore holds. And I really have loved it, but I am not going to participate in it this year. Rather, I am going to focus on my own writing. There is a novel to be finished and edited. I thought writing a blog post everyday in January would pump me up to be writing more often this year.
So, my friends, look forward to coming here daily(if you like) and reading some of my ramblings. I love to write and it may seem a bit cocky to say so, but I think I am good at it and it comes easy to me. So there, take that.
What would you like to read about this month? I have some ideas and the first few posts this week will be about the books I read in 2019, but I am always looking for ideas from the people who will probably read these ramblings. So, go ahead, comment below, tell me what you would like to hear about on this here blog.
Oh and by the way: Happy New Year! May you have 20/20 vision this year! (Free puns even? You bet!)
