Let's talk about...Resolutions.
There are two types of people in the world: those who make resolutions, and those who do not.
I used to be the first type and January 1st brought all sorts of dreaming about change and improvement. But lately, I have been morphing into the second. I actually do have some goals for this new year, yet I have not made any formal resolutions.
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| Underwood in Salt Lake City, November 17, 2022 |
I recently went to a Carrie Underwood concert. I am telling you now, if you have not seen her live, you really need to. She is amazing. She also changes her clothes about ten times per concert, which is pretty impressive. Her energy on stage is something else, from playing a drum solo, to flying from the rafters in a fancy winged orb, she delivers a great show. She also is one of my favorites because she delivers great messages through her music(and in the way she lives her life).
One particular song from Underwood's most recent album has been on my mind of late. The song is entitled "Garden" and speaks about what we must plant in our lives in order to reap good things, especially to reap peace.
These lines speak to my soul:
"Would you plant patience?Would you keep kindness?Would there be peaceRipe on the vine?"
What would you plant in your life to bring you peace? What things would you keep? What things would you weed out? I like the garden analogy as I think about the possibility that comes with a new year. I am not focusing on specific goals so to speak but I am choosing to rather focus on a specific word to plant.
The song also says:
"And if your words were seeds that were goin' in the groundAnd your love was rain farmers prayed aboutIf your life was sunlight we all needed"What kinda world would it be?"
"If you reap what you sowWhat kind of garden would you grow?If you reap what you sowWhat kind of garden would you grow?"
Words have power. They are like seeds. Love and the gardener's care help all seeds,(and words) grow. Living life with light does spread peace to you and to all those around you.
My resolution is more of a vibe. It's a word in action. My word is: Return.
I don't know about you, but my life has derailed in many ways over the past three years. The whole Covid fiasco shook me. I had my anxiety under control. Actually, I didn't even realize I had anxiety before, but I did, I just had coped with it really well. Since the nightmare that 2020 was, I have had panic attacks that I had never even known what were like before I had one. I also have moments where I am very antsy; anxiety has crept in. For all of us, our lives changed and we have been yearning for a return to normalcy.
Covid wasn't the only place my life had taken detours. My faith had simmered. I avoided the social things I had always enjoyed. I became a hermit who only wanted to sit on the couch.
And then, last fall, my mom died, spinning my world even further from where it once had been. I went into a deep depression. I didn't feel like doing anything that once brought me joy. Getting out of bed felt pointless. Staring at the wall was the only thing I had energy for after working all day. And at work, my brain was mush, and I couldn't focus. Time was in a warp; frozen. I truly was in survival mode.
One day, in the past month, I was in a meeting for my church responsibilities and the word, return, came to mind. I wanted to return to who I truly was, the Alice pre-Covid. So, here I am planting my word-seed, watering it with self-love and spreading sunlight to others as I do.
My focus is a return to spirituality, I want to cultivate a daily habit of study and prayer. My return to doing what I love has already started. I am reading lots and now writing more. I have plans for more concerts and hope to get out to some hockey and baseball games this year. I want to also return to being present in my relationships, both as a wife and mother, but also as a sister, daughter, and friend. I am a people person and I find joy in being social.
No matter if you are a resolution maker or a person who resolves to make no such resolutions, may each and every one of you have a wonderful year. Nurture your garden and there's no chance you won't have anything but a great year. Happy New Year, my dear friends and family!
